Healthy Ways to Cope with a Divorce: A Guide to Healing
December 7th, 2021 by Catherine Marqueses
Divorce will never truly feel amicable, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t ways you can lessen the emotional burden. Here are ten ways you can cope with your separation in a healthy manner:
Are You Ready For A Divorce?
It may seem strange to ponder this, but sometimes, divorce isn’t the answer. Bear in mind, divorce is a life altering experience and though your marriage may have hit a rough patch, you may not feel ready to move on from this relationship. Of course, if you have come to terms with the inevitability of divorce, you can act in your best interests to move forward with the process in a healthy way.
Get An Attorney’s Opinion
Children are especially often negatively affected by divorce. If you would like sole custody of your child away from your ex, it’s important to get a second opinion from a family attorney. They have years of experience dealing with difficult separations and they can best advise on how to proceed.
Know The Laws
Depending on which state you live in, there are different laws and regulations pertaining to divorce. For example, some states opt for “no-fault” divorces. This means you legally don’t have to prove that your spouse did anything wrong to warrant a divorce. There are also a myriad of laws that pertain to child custody, which is why you need to understand the law and how it can affect your divorce proceedings.
Get Documents Ready
Are you sure you want to file for a divorce? If so, it’s never too early to start gathering the necessary documents such as pay stubs, bank account and retirement account statements, tax returns, insurance policies, and credit card statements.
Restrict Account Access
Now that you’re ready to live a separate life, it’s important to change all of your account passwords. This is especially the case if you had joint accounts or your spouse had an easy time guessing your passwords. Your ex should not have the ability to access anything of yours, regardless of how amicable the impending divorce may seem.
Have Support In Place
Divorce makes everyone emotionally volatile and it’s normal to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms during the process. Get support from people who understand what you’re going through. For some, this may mean joining a support group, click here to find support. For others, it may entail talking to friends and family about the process.
Be The Better Person
With tension building and tempers rising, it’s easy to badmouth your ex, especially in front of your kids. It may seem like a good idea to tell everyone you know about how horrible your ex is, but refrain from doing so. Even if he or she is talking bad about you, take the high road and be the better person! How you handle your divorce ultimately affects your children for many years to come, especially during their formative years.
Get A Fresh Start
Many people going through divorce make the mistake of dwelling on the past and obsessing over the things they used to do together. If you have the means to do so, move to a different home and neighborhood. Getting a fresh change of scenery will allow you to begin anew without constant reminders of what you used to have. It also helps children cope with divorce better when they’re in a new healthy environment.
Have A Parenting Plan
It’s important that you and your ex set boundaries for your future interactions, but it’s also important to have a parenting plan in place for your kids. When sitting down with your children and explaining your divorce, make it a point to share the facts and let them know how you plan on co-parenting together as a team.
Avoid Becoming Friends Too Soon
Some divorced couples handle being friends well, but you shouldn’t take this step too soon. Give yourselves some time to heal both physically and emotionally. Most importantly, have boundaries set in place for your future relationship that your children can understand.